Theodore Lee

My friend gets jealous of me very easily. I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around her every time I see her.

When she got angry, she would give others the silent treatment for however long she felt like it. It could be days, weeks, months or even years. She and I were talking about music. She got angry and jealous that I mentioned I have 2 electric guitars. I did not know that was going to be such a sensitive topic for her. She stopped talking to me for a year after that. She did not explain why she went silent.

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I’m 39 and I’ve never been in a relationship or been physically intimate with anyone. Not once.

I live in a major U.S. city and work as a senior engineer for a well-known tech company. On paper, my life looks solid. I make good money and have built a strong career. I go to a monthly board game meetup and volunteer at neighborhood cleanups. I try to be social. I ask people about their lives, suggest grabbing food after events, and make an effort to stay connected.

I work out most weekdays. I take care of myself. Good hygiene, a simple skincare routine, regular haircuts, clean clothes. I’m 5’9”, about 145 pounds, and in good shape. I’ve been on multiple dating apps for years and barely get any matches.

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I’ve always laughed off the term “work spouse,” but today something shifted. My coworker Laura made a joke that only we would get, and my first instinct wasn’t to tell my spouse—it was to keep it as our thing.

I realized I’ve been sharing more of my daily emotional highs and lows with someone at a desk than with the person I share a bed with. My spouse hasn’t done anything wrong, but I’ve been emotionally lazy. I’m shutting it down starting tomorrow.

Has anyone else caught themselves sliding into an emotional affair without realizing it? How did you fix the distance at home?

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Me (27m) and my girlfriend (25f) been together for about 10 months. Lately I’ve started noticing she’s really weird about her phone. Keeps it face down all the time, turns off notifications when I’m around, and takes it with her even if she’s just stepping out for a minute.

She used to be more open, like showing me memes or stuff from her chats, but now it’s like the phone is some top secret device. I’m not the kind of guy who snoops, and I haven’t gone through it, but I can’t lie – it’s starting to bother me.

I asked her if something’s up, she just said “I like my privacy”. That’s all. No explanation.

Is this a red flag? I wanna trust her, but it’s hard not to feel like she’s hiding something. Anyone been through this?

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