Advice Column

Tonight my wife and I were looking through a “memory” folder her phone automatically created, mostly filled with photos of our family and kids.

For context, about five years ago my wife had what I’d describe as an emotional affair with a coworker. At the time I found a lot of messages and photos on her phone. She always insisted nothing physical happened, but some of the conversations were very detailed and clearly crossed boundaries.

While scrolling through the photo album tonight, two revealing photos of her from around that same time suddenly appeared. I had never seen those pictures before, and they definitely weren’t sent to me. They were date-stamped from five years ago. She quickly deleted them and said she didn’t remember taking them and that they must have been accidental.

[Read more…] about “I found sexy photos on my wife’s phone”

I work in a creative field, and my partner works in tech and has a strong engineering background. Because of that, she tends to believe she understands anything remotely technical.

Recently, the heating system in the house she owns stopped working and started throwing error codes. She immediately wanted to open the unit herself and “see what was going on.” I wasn’t comfortable with that because these systems involve high voltage and refrigerant, and a mistake could mean serious damage or huge repair costs. So I called a professional technician to check it out.

[Read more…] about “I called a technician behind her back and now she’s mad”

I am overweight. I am not extremely insecure, but I do not love my body either. My boyfriend has always been thin. Earlier in our relationship, I made some comments I regret, like saying he was not really “hot,” just cute, and that in different circumstances I might not have dated him. I apologized, but he clearly took it to heart.

A few months later, he became very focused on the gym and eating healthy. When we go out, he always orders the healthiest option or sometimes will not eat at all if there is nothing that fits his plan. He says he is still close enough to his calorie goal and that missing some days is not a big deal.

[Read more…] about “I want my boyfriend to go back to how he was”

My wife (31F) and I (46M) have been together six years and married for two. She used to talk to me constantly — sharing her day, her thoughts, everything. But she also wanted to talk a lot about problems in our relationship.

It often felt like every conversation was about what I was doing wrong. She said I spent too much time talking to my exes (we’re friends), that I prioritized work over her (it’s my career), and that I didn’t care enough about her. It felt like we were always having serious talks.

About a year ago, I told her I didn’t want to talk anymore. I was tired of hearing criticism and felt like I deserved a break since I provide everything we need. I told her if she didn’t like how I did things, she could leave and we’d divorce. She said she was trying to communicate because she felt unappreciated and thought I had one foot out the door, but I felt she was being unreasonable.

[Read more…] about “My wife won’t talk to me anymore”

I have a huge crush on my wife’s cousin, Lauren, and it’s a terrible situation. I genuinely believe I have the greatest wife in the world, Maya — she’s an amazing woman, mother, and partner.

When I first met Maya, she approached me at a bar. We hit it off instantly. Later that night, her cousin and best friend Lauren showed up, and my jaw hit the floor. Lauren is unbelievably gorgeous. I wondered how things might’ve been different if I’d met Lauren first, but 10 years later I’d say life worked out. Maya and I got married and have a great little girl. The thought eventually faded — until recently.

[Read more…] about “I developed a crush on my wife’s cousin. How long until these feelings fade?”

My husband’s (33M) dad (60s) and his wife (60s) are visiting and my baby will be 17 months old when they’re here. They’ll stay at our house for a couple of weeks and a resort for another week. The resort is an hour away from our house.

They have never babysat for us before — not even for 10 minutes — but my stepmother-in-law is trying to convince us to stay at the resort for a night for our anniversary. I keep saying no because we’ve never been away for a night, but somehow she isn’t getting it.

My husband dances around things, so he says stuff like, “Ahhh we’ll see… probably not,” even though he’s a hard no too.

[Read more…] about “My husband’s stepmom wants to watch our old baby overnight and it’s weirding me out how persistent she is”

I’m 34F and my partner is 46M. We’ve been together a little over two and a half years, and I just found out I was the other woman the entire time.

For a while I had this gut feeling something wasn’t right. He would always mention his “former partner,” saying they stayed close because of their history and that they were basically family now. I asked questions here and there, but he always made it sound reasonable and I didn’t have any real evidence, so I tried to trust him.

A few days ago I asked to borrow his tablet to look something up, and he told me he didn’t own one. That immediately felt suspicious because I had seen it before at his place. After he left for work, I looked around and found it in a drawer. I shouldn’t have opened it, but I did.

[Read more…] about “Just found out I was the other woman for years and I feel sick”

My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been dating for 3 months. She’s super cool and it’s all going really well, so I thought it was time to introduce her to my friends from school back home.

Some things to note about my girlfriend: she’s quite petite, probably about 5ft, and she dresses like (I quote) a “kids’ TV presenter.” She also gets very excited about things very easily. This means that she often gets read as being a lot younger than she actually is, which can be annoying but is also hilarious as she’s probably the most intelligent person I’ve ever met. It’s an odd contradiction but I think it’s really cute.

When we got to my hometown, we decided to meet my friends at a local park which has a lake and a set of gardens. It had been raining the day before and the ground was still pretty wet, but we planned on walking around the lake with my friends. We got there and everyone seemed to like my girlfriend and they all got on well.

[Read more…] about “I tried to “protect” my girlfriend and ended up humiliating her”

If you want to attract a quality girl you have to be a desirable, fit, put together man etc etc.

As female behavior trends ever more downward, the pool of desirable females shrinks ever more.

A shrinking pool of desirable females means male competition becomes more fierce and the male arms race intensifies.

[Read more…] about “The dating pool is broken”

I regularly visit a strip club in my area and for the past few months, I’ve been seeing one particular dancer, “Amber” (not her real name). In addition to tipping her and getting dances I buy Amber at least one drink every shift. She always requests the same thing – a screwdriver made with a certain brand of vodka.

Last night, I went in and Amber sat with me as usual. I ordered Amber’s drink from the bartender and got one for myself as well. But when I sipped it I didn’t taste any alcohol at all despite having seen the bartender pour from the same bottle she used to make Amber’s drink. Amber excused herself to freshen up and after the bartender walked away I grabbed the bottle and poured some into the empty glass. As I suspected, it wasn’t vodka, it was plain WATER.

[Read more…] about “I thought a dancer was drinking with me and now I feel cheated”