Advice Column

Me (27m) and my girlfriend (25f) been together for about 10 months. Lately I’ve started noticing she’s really weird about her phone. Keeps it face down all the time, turns off notifications when I’m around, and takes it with her even if she’s just stepping out for a minute.

She used to be more open, like showing me memes or stuff from her chats, but now it’s like the phone is some top secret device. I’m not the kind of guy who snoops, and I haven’t gone through it, but I can’t lie – it’s starting to bother me.

I asked her if something’s up, she just said “I like my privacy”. That’s all. No explanation.

Is this a red flag? I wanna trust her, but it’s hard not to feel like she’s hiding something. Anyone been through this?

[Read more…] about “Is it a red flag if my gf hides their phone around me?”

My wife and I have been together for about a decade and we have three young kids together. For most of our relationship she was never someone who put a lot of effort into her appearance. She was always naturally beautiful, but she did not really dress up or focus much on how she looked.

A couple of years ago she went through a phase where she felt like she did not have an identity outside of being a mom. Since then she has started traveling more, joining social groups, dressing up, and wearing makeup.

[Read more…] about “Is it wrong for me to not compliment my wife so that she won’t become vain?”

I have been married to my wife for four years. In the beginning everything felt perfect. I wanted to give her everything she never had growing up. She came from a financially unstable family and had never experienced things like travel, nice clothes, or good restaurants. I was excited to provide that life for her and to protect her.

She loved me deeply and unconditionally. She worked eight hours a day like I did, but still cooked, cleaned, and did my laundry. She even learned new recipes just to make me happy. She seemed genuinely happy caring for me.

Things changed when I started gambling. I lost everything. My savings, her savings, my salary, and I even stole from her. She still did not leave.

[Read more…] about “I fucked up big time”

We’ve been together almost 10 years, married for 7, and started dating in our early 20s. We have two young boys, ages 2 and 4. From my perspective, our marriage has been solid. Life is busy with kids, so we don’t go out much, but neither do our friends since they’re mostly parents too.

A few weeks ago, my wife went out drinking with mutual friends while I stayed home with the kids (we take turns about once a month). She came home pretty drunk and randomly asked what’s something I haven’t done that I want to do. Then she asked if I’d ever consider opening our marriage. This completely shocked me because she’s usually very risk averse. I asked if she was worried about jealousy (she said no), if she had someone in mind (she said no), and how it would even work (she suggested maybe starting with a threesome). I told her we should talk about it when she was sober.

[Read more…] about “My wife asked me if I would ever consider an open relationship”

Next month marks four years for me (28F) and my boyfriend (30M). We live together with our two dogs, and early on, we both agreed that marriage and kids were in our future. About a year ago, I asked him when he thought we’d get married, and he mentioned he always imagined dating someone for 5-6 years before tying the knot. That worked for me, as I wanted to be married before 30.

Now, as our anniversary approaches, I’m starting to feel like we’re not moving in that direction. When I brought it up, he admitted he feels emotionally inadequate, worried he can’t meet my needs for affection. He said the differences in our emotional needs are draining for him, even when we’re not actively addressing them. He also expressed concerns about being a people-pleaser and how our differences could chip away at him over time.

[Read more…] about “Boyfriend of 4 years doesn’t know if he will ever want to marry me”

My parents have struggled financially for as long as I can remember. They refuse to work traditional jobs because they don’t want to deal with “corporate America,” so they do gigs like DoorDash and GrubHub, barely getting by. Last year, they lived with us for six months, crammed into our two-bedroom apartment with my wife, 1-year-old son, my parents, little sister, and their husky. It was suffocating and put a huge strain on our marriage. We couldn’t kick them out because I didn’t want to leave my sister without a place to go.

[Read more…] about “My parents are trying to live with us”

Tonight my wife and I were looking through a “memory” folder her phone automatically created, mostly filled with photos of our family and kids.

For context, about five years ago my wife had what I’d describe as an emotional affair with a coworker. At the time I found a lot of messages and photos on her phone. She always insisted nothing physical happened, but some of the conversations were very detailed and clearly crossed boundaries.

While scrolling through the photo album tonight, two revealing photos of her from around that same time suddenly appeared. I had never seen those pictures before, and they definitely weren’t sent to me. They were date-stamped from five years ago. She quickly deleted them and said she didn’t remember taking them and that they must have been accidental.

[Read more…] about “I found sexy photos on my wife’s phone”

I work in a creative field, and my partner works in tech and has a strong engineering background. Because of that, she tends to believe she understands anything remotely technical.

Recently, the heating system in the house she owns stopped working and started throwing error codes. She immediately wanted to open the unit herself and “see what was going on.” I wasn’t comfortable with that because these systems involve high voltage and refrigerant, and a mistake could mean serious damage or huge repair costs. So I called a professional technician to check it out.

[Read more…] about “I called a technician behind her back and now she’s mad”