Category: Advice Column

My boyfriend (27M) and I (27F) have known each other for 10 years and been together for 8. We grew up together—first love, university, life milestones, everything. We moved in together after graduating and have built a stable life with similar careers and income.

Early on, we talked about marriage and agreed we’d wait until we were financially stable. After we both got good jobs, I felt ready—and our families started asking about it too. I held off bringing it up because his job was stressful.

Last year, an opportunity came up where being married could give us certain benefits. We talked seriously about a quick civil wedding and even discussed it with our families. It made me feel like he was ready.

My husband and I met when I was pregnant with my first son. His biological father had just walked out on me after finding out about the pregnancy. He said he wanted nothing to do with it, moved away, changed his number, and disappeared completely. I didn’t hear from him again until now, six years later.

My husband has been there from day one. He stepped in without hesitation and has raised my son as his own. He even signed the birth certificate. Since then, we’ve grown our family and now have two kids together.

Everything has been going so well. He treats both children equally, and he’s an incredible father and husband.

Then, out of nowhere, my ex reached out. He says he’s ready to be part of his son’s life now.

Several months ago, one of my husband’s closest friends got engaged. A few months later, my husband was asked to be a groomsman and he said yes. We recently received the wedding invitation, and I am not invited.

For context, my husband and I have been married for over 15 years. We used to live across the country, and because of COVID, we didn’t meet the couple during the first couple of years they were together. After moving back to our hometown, I spent some time with them. I always got along well with the groom and liked his fiancée.

I’m pretty introverted and tend to be quiet in group settings, but I’m kind and respectful. For some reason, the fiancée developed a strong dislike for me early on. I don’t know why. When I found out, I tried talking to her about it, but I didn’t get any clear answers. She eventually blocked and removed me on social media.

About a year ago, a woman in my friend group told me she had feelings for me. I liked her too, but I hesitated—mainly out of fear. I didn’t think I was ready, and I kept overthinking everything. I never made a move.

Fast forward to now: she’s started dating another guy in our circle. To make things even more complicated, it’s actually one of my close friends. When he told me they’d been seeing each other, I felt gutted. I can’t shake this nagging feeling that I let something really good slip away, and I’m struggling to be around them without feeling awkward or jealous.

I have much lower calorie needs than my partner. I’m thin, have IBS, and can’t handle a lot of food. He’s more active, slightly overweight, and eats about double what I do. I’m fine with him eating more, and I try to keep our meals healthy.

The problem is I feel like I’m paying for it, either financially or with my time. We split groceries and eating out evenly, and we split kitchen duties, though I cook more because his meals don’t sit well with my stomach. When I cook, like making tortillas, I might make 10 thinking they’ll last me several meals, but if he’s over, he’ll eat most of them right away or the next morning, leaving me with almost nothing.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years. When we started, we both wanted the same things: marriage, a house, kids, and strong careers. We’ve achieved the career part, but the house has never happened. Every time we save, something comes up, and now with how expensive everything is, buying a home feels almost impossible.

From the beginning, he has been clear that he wants to own a home before having kids. I understand why. He grew up in an unstable household, and owning a home represents safety to him. I respect that. But I’m 35 now, and the risks of waiting to have children are weighing on me more and more.

I need help. I feel like I’m starting to break.

My partner has ADHD and complains constantly about how she feels. Her head hurts, her stomach hurts, something always seems wrong. I try to help by offering her things like Advil or water, but it never seems to be enough.

This morning she said she thought she had low blood pressure. All I said was, “It seems like there’s always something going on with you.” I know that wasn’t the best thing to say.

But it turned into a three hour meltdown. She’s been crying in bed and not talking, and now our plans for the day are ruined.

This keeps happening over and over, and I’m exhausted and honestly sick of it.

My wife is traveling for a conference and will be gone for a few days. We live about 30 minutes from the airport, so it turns into about an hour round trip, probably more with traffic. We have to leave at 7am, and I’ll pick her up at 9:30pm on a weekday. I’m happy to drive her, but it’s a big inconvenience with work, working out, and taking care of the dogs. It basically doubles my commute that day. Now she’s upset.

I’m 28 and have been dating my partner, who is 43, for almost a year. A few days ago, I mentioned having some friends over and thought it would be nice if her friends came too so everyone could meet.

She hesitated, so I asked what was wrong. She said the issue wasn’t meeting friends, but that she’d feel embarrassed because I still live in a one bedroom apartment at almost 30.

That caught me off guard. I’ve never seen it as a problem. My place is spacious, with a living room, dining area, and kitchen. I make a decent living, I just don’t see the point in paying a lot more rent for space I won’t use.

My husband and I live next door to his mom, but he still calls her every day, sometimes up to three times a day. He sends her photos of everything, his meals, his activities, and texts her constantly. He takes her out about four days a week and walks over to see her regularly.

He shares almost everything about his day with her.

I don’t feel jealous of her, but I do feel like my husband should have some boundaries.

We’ve talked and fought about this many times, almost every week. After our arguments, he says he just wants me to be happy for him and his mom.