Advice Column

I’ve been married for nine years to a woman I love deeply. We have a good marriage. We don’t have big fights or secrets, at least I didn’t think we did.

A few weeks ago, I was cleaning out our closet and came across a duffel bag tucked behind some blankets. I opened it without thinking, assuming it was old travel stuff. But inside was a perfectly packed go-bag. Clothes, cash, travel toiletries, a burner phone, and copies of her passport, birth certificate, and Social Security card.

My first thought was that it was for emergencies, but the more I looked, the more it didn’t feel like that. It felt personal, intentional. Like something someone packs when they’re planning to leave.

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Three years ago, my parents divorced after decades together. I’m their only child, and they stayed friendly through the split — until recently.

After the divorce, my dad (62) started dating a lot. I figured he was just trying to move on, so I didn’t interfere. But a month ago, he introduced me and my mom to his new girlfriend — a 23-year-old. He was beaming, calling her an “old soul” and saying they had a deep connection. My mom asked why he was dating someone younger than his daughter, and he snapped that she was a consenting adult and it was none of our business.

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So, about a month ago, my wife told me that the spark isn’t there for her anymore, and she assured me that there isn’t anyone else. We’ve been going out on dates and trying to recapture the spark, and for the most part, it’s been going okay. But she’s been hot and cold the past few days, and when I was walking to the kitchen, I saw her on her phone using what appeared to be a dating app.

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I’m 25 and a few weeks ago I made the dumbest decision of my life. I went out drinking, ended up at a strip club, and somehow let myself get talked into using my credit card while I was pretty drunk. I signed everything. The total came out to $9,600. Just typing that makes me want to puke.

It’s a lot of money. It doesn’t completely ruin me, but it was coming from money I’d been saving for a house. I had worked hard to build it up and in one night I torched a huge chunk of it. I feel so stupid. I keep replaying it over and over in my head. I don’t even know what I was thinking. It’s like I snapped for a night and now I’m sitting here dealing with the fallout.

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Earlier today, my mother just scream at me.

She screamed, “A child who thought that parents are not children’s obligation is a useless child. Why? Because everything that the parents did to their children when they were still a kid must be paid by their children.

They have to pay the parents. And they mustn’t keep their salary a secret, because the parents have the right to know their salary, the parents have right to know if it’s increases… To really know, how much money they must have from their children.

Children need to pay their parents from the day they were born to the day how they earned money.”

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My (32M) wife (40F) and her best friend (43F) were all hanging out at the house with a few of her other friends. Her best friend kept trying to pull me off the couch to take a shot.

She grabbed both my legs and pulled me right off the couch we started like play wrestling . We were drunk and it was all out of fun. I’m 5’3 and about 130 pounds . She’s the same height as me but weighs more.

I tried grabbing her legs and tackling her but she just pushed me to the ground and had me pinned. I was trying as hard as I could to get up and started turning bright red and my wife and all her friends started laughing so hard. Her friend was barely trying and was able to just keep me pinned there.

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My husband of one year admits he purposely tries to “keep me humble.”

Those were his exact words. He refuses to compliment me or build me up in any way, because he’s convinced that if he does, I’ll somehow become arrogant or delusional about myself.

What really set me off happened earlier today. I was in the middle of changing clothes when he looked at me and said I looked “very unappetizing.” He even compared me to food that looks gross but tastes okay. I still don’t know what that was even supposed to mean — and honestly, I don’t think there’s a way to make that sound respectful.

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I’ve been with my girlfriend since I was 18—we were high school sweethearts. I’m 27 now, and she’s 26. After high school, I started working right away and have mostly been in service jobs. Right now, I work at the UPS Store. She went the college route, studied accounting, and is now a senior associate at one of the Big Four firms. She earns a lot more than I do, which honestly doesn’t bother me. I’ve never cared much about money in the relationship.

But when I brought up the idea of marriage, she said she doesn’t want to get married until I “establish” myself professionally. The thing is, I don’t have big career ambitions—and I’m genuinely happy with the work I do.

So now I’m wondering: has our relationship run its course? Are we just too different at this point?

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Shes 60, single. I know how screwed she is, told her countless times, but she did it anyway. I don’t know how she’s going to survive on $1k social security a month and only $60k saved. No assets. No plan. Currently rents, which I help pay for.

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