We had our baby last year. She was two months old when it first happened. Can’t recall context. Afterward I was very upset and asked him to swear that we never bring up leaving each other unless we mean it. He denied having said that but agreed.
The next time he did it was a few months ago. He got angry because the dog jumped on him, yelled, and the baby cried. We ran into another room. He followed soon after, saying it was too much chaos and that he needs me to help him. I told him he was traumatizing baby, that its damaging. He said fine I’ll just leave, then.
Third time was about a month ago. He came home from work. I was in the bedroom. He comes in and demands to know if I’d been in the family room, and announces that the dog had ripped up all my paper coffee filters and made a mess. Then he starts looking at my dresser and says I am so messy and he can’t live like this and wouldn’t have married me if he knew I was going to live like this.
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Advice Column
“I’m jealousy of my brother’s success”
I’m really struggling with something right now. My stepbrother and his girlfriend, both in their early twenties, seem to be living the dream. They just bought a house and are already talking about getting a brand-new BMW.
They finance everything, whereas my spouse and I are committed to saving up and paying cash for what we want. We’re still working on saving for a down payment on a house, and it feels like we’re so far behind them.
Every time we visit, I can’t help but feel a mix of jealousy and frustration. Why do they get to enjoy all these nice things now while we have to wait?
“My wife has been speaking with another man for 3 months”
My wife and I have been married for 6 years and overall have had a good relationship since being teenage sweethearts. Like most relationships we do have the occasional argument about things but never anything huge and things would generally settle down after a day when we apologise.
Today my wife asked to talk and sat me down to tell me she’s been speaking with another guy for the last 3 months. She said that she thought he was just a friend as she met him at one of her hobbies. They started talking and she admitted that she has been quite open with him, sharing personal details about our relationship. Things like screenshots of our arguments if we had them, venting about things that I’m doing that are annoying her, complaining about the last vacation we went on and my wider family.
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“Moving in with boyfriend has been going bad”
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 years. I decided that we needed to take a step in the relationship so I decided to move in with him. Prior to moving in with him I was living in an apartment for 3 years that I really loved. I was comfortable there and everything was decorated how I wanted it to be.
But we got a dog together and after 3 years of being a 1 hour distance apart I decided not to renew my lease. He had an extra room where he currently lives and always welcomed me to move in.
Well I’ve been here probably a month and everything is just going awful. When I moved in I realized he doesn’t have a dish washer so dishes are constantly piled in the sink.
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“How to get over cheating?”
Hi, I’ve been dating my partner, let’s call them M for now for a little over a year. However early on in the relationship M cheated on me once and immediately came to me and told me out of guilt. I thought their apology was sweet and very real so I decided to give them another chance despite always saying I’d never give a cheater a second chance.
Well long story short, it’s been 11 months since they cheated on me and I still can’t find it in my heart to trust them the same way I did before. And I don’t know if I ever will.
“I have been thinking about trying meth”
This is going to sound really dumb, but I (22m) have wanted to for the past year or so. I just feel empty and I want to try something new and exciting.
My plan is to do it just once and then be done with it. I have a family that I barely speak to due to being estranged (hard childhood) so that makes my decision easier.
No one will be in the cross fire if I take it too far. I know many people will think that I am extremely stupid for making this choice, but I am tired of being bored in my life. I have always felt incomplete ever since I was a child.
Hopefully this will be a good experience, If I choose to go through with it.
“Struggling with Investment Addiction”
I’m am in my early 20s, and I’ve built up a stock portfolio worth $110k, primarily invested in VOO.
While I’m proud of this achievement and the progress I’ve made towards financial independence, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m becoming addicted to the idea of investing and the dream of early retirement.
I find myself constantly thinking that every cent should go towards my investments. Up to the point where I don’t spend money on anything else. I keep my expenses very very low.
“My wife throws temper tantrums”
My wife has a temper problem. Only gotten worse after our second baby was born. We have been married for a long time.. And have two kids. She can get worked up over trivial things and end in screaming, slamming doors etc breaking things including furniture. Throwing my clothes on the floor.
She has never accepted responsibility or apologized for this behavior and any suggestion she had such a problem and to seek help will only end up in another screaming situation.
I probably should have left her long ago. It’s not always been bad though. We have two kids and a mortgage.. And I don’t know what to do.
“My boyfriend of 6 years won’t propose and I don’t know what to do”
I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 6 years. I have always been straightforward about wanting to get married one day and when we started getting serious my boyfriend asked if we could wait until after college, I agreed. After college he asked if we could wait until after we both found jobs and I agreed.
It’s been over 2 years now and he keeps pushing the time frame back. I’ve tried having conversations about this but I feel like he just agrees with me so that I’ll drop it.
I don’t know what to do next. I don’t know if he’s changed his mind about me, about marriage, or if I’m just reading way too much into it. Help?
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“My wife keeps lying about little things”
We’ve been together 7 years, married 3. Over the last 12 – 18 months I’ve noticed her lying about more and more. Nothing hugely significant (that I’m aware of), but it is becoming more and more common.
For example, yesterday she told me her mother had given her a new dress as a gift, when my wife had actually bought it herself. I found this out by noticing the receipt when I was tidying up and asked her about it. I don’t care about the dress – It wasn’t hugely expensive, so whatever.
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