Category: Advice Column

Hi everyone. I’m a 28-year-old woman, and my husband (30) was paralyzed from the chest down in an accident about a year ago. I’ve never written anything like this before, but I need to get this out anonymously because I’m struggling, and I don’t know who I can safely talk to.

I love my husband deeply. He’s still the same in so many ways—kind, funny, emotionally strong. The grace and strength he’s shown throughout this past year is something I truly admire. I’ve done my best to be supportive, to show up, and to keep our life moving forward. But I can’t pretend it hasn’t changed everything for me too. And lately, the weight of what we’ve both lost feels like it’s crushing me.

I love my partner, but I’m getting increasingly frustrated and don’t know how to talk to her about it without it turning into a fight. She’s very frugal and I worry she’ll see it as me trying to take advantage of her.

I’m 27 and have been with my boyfriend (28) for 11 years. He comes from wealth, and I’ve always known that. Now he’s asking for a prenup, which I understand — that part doesn’t bother me. What hurts is how he talks to me.

I grew up poor, became a nurse practitioner, and now make $210K juggling two jobs. I even bought my parents a house. I’m proud of what I’ve built.

But lately, his words sting more than the money gap. When I asked if I’d have ownership in a property I helped pay for, he said, “It’s not my fault your parents didn’t give you anything. You might, depending on how I feel.” He’s called me a gold digger, a bitch, and said things like, “If you mess with me, I’ll make sure you never see a dime.”

Two years ago, my brother won the lottery. Like, literally won $3 million. Just a regular ticket he picked up at a gas station. I remember he called me, laughing and crying at the same time. I was happy for him. I really was. But ever since then, something in me has started to rot.

He and his wife used the money wisely. Paid off debts, bought a house outright, helped out our mom by clearing her mortgage. They put a bunch into investments, and now they’re basically done with the whole “working full-time” thing. She stays home with their kid. He works maybe a day or two a week, just to keep from getting bored.

And I’m still here. Grinding.

Over the last few months my girlfriend and I have had a few fights over how I talk to her. I didn’t recognize it at first but the more I become aware the more I see it.

It seems like anytime there’s any issues or any amount of tension, no matter how little, between us I just blow up and scream at her.

I don’t mean to do it that’s just how I always talked to my parents growing up as they would constantly scream at me.

I’m nearly 40, divorced. I live with my mom, in a kind of mutually beneficial arrangement- I pay the mortgage, which is like…. 1000 dollars a month…. And I don’t have to pay Los Angeles rent. But she needs me there because otherwise she can’t keep the house.

So, I’m working. The job is just a job. Pays well but not well enough to live in LA and pay rent and have headroom. I can’t really leave. I also just do not care about my work and I’m phoning it in. And the world is falling apart.

I’m facing a tough future with Social Security—looks like I’ll get about $650 a month at age 67, and it doesn’t seem possible to raise it much. I have 32 years of work history, three zero-income years, and nothing to show except some small self-employment income.