Caveman Circus

The Most Awesome Men's Entertainment Site On The Internet

What to Say to a Cop When He Asks “Do You Know How Fast You Were Going?”

My dad, 3 uncles, 5 great uncles, well over 20 cousins are all law enforcement.

I pretty much drive 10–30 mph over the speed limit everywhere that’s outside of the city (live in a city of 100k people, and travel all over the state for work, all the time).

I get pulled over at least 6 times a year. So far this year I’ve been pulled over 8 times and got 1 ticket. On average, I get a ticket once every 2 years. Yes, I normally get a ticket less than 10% of the time I’m pulled over.

When I am speeding and see a LEO put their lights on, I IMMEDIATELY do the following:

[Read more…] about What to Say to a Cop When He Asks “Do You Know How Fast You Were Going?”

 

 

“I hate my life and my wife”

I’m a 30 year old man, and I hate my job. Every day feels exactly the same, and I don’t see any purpose in the work I do. I’ve been trying to find something else, but I can’t even get past the first round of interviews.

Quitting isn’t an option because I’m the only one supporting my family financially.

Things at home are just as hard. My wife is 28, and it feels like we don’t understand each other anymore. I don’t feel like I can be myself around her. She often says her life would have been better if she had married someone else. During our worst arguments, I’ve told her I wish I hadn’t married her either.

[Read more…] about “I hate my life and my wife”

“I Was Born With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Here’s What My Life Is Really Like”

fetal_alcohol_syndrome

People hear the words Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and immediately picture someone who can’t function. They imagine someone incapable of holding a job, maintaining relationships, or living independently. I understand why. Most people only ever hear about the most severe cases.

I’m not one of them.

[Read more…] about “I Was Born With Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Here’s What My Life Is Really Like”

Linkage

will-smith-slap

20 Fascinating Photos Collected From History – Ned Hardy

One of those rare upgrades you’ll notice every single day, it delivers an incredibly satisfying shower while using less water, and it’s built to outlast the cheap plastic ones you’ll keep replacing – Amazon

This Is the Way Out of Our Ultraprocessed Dystopia – NYTimes

This Viral Data Center Sounds Like Satan’s Buzzsaw – Gizmodo

Why Leg-Lengthening Surgeries May Soon Become Way More Common – GQ

Raven Politely Asks Man for Water – Reddit

There Are Some Things You Just Can’t Argue With – Ned Hardy

This is the coffee grinder enthusiasts recommend when you want near-professional espresso performance without spending four figures, and it’s built to be the last grinder most people ever need. – Amazon

Lindsay Clancy goes on trial over whether postpartum psychosis drove her to kill her 3 children – Reddit

Schools are adding pepper-spraying drones to help combat active shooters – Archive.ph

10 acting performances that changed cinema forever – Far Out Magazine

A 16 year old lifeguard rescued a 10 year old boy who was being swept away by powerful waves in California. – Reddit

You Should Get to Own Your Media, Not Rent it Forever – Current Affairs

How Do You Teach Children to Have ‘Good’ Ambition? – Archive.ph

New airliner sets record flying 24 hrs nonstop from Australia to France – Ars Technica

How to have an interesting answer when someone asks, ‘What do you do for a living?’ – Upworthy

The Truth About Those “You Don’t Have to Pay Taxes” Videos

taxes

Every few months, another video starts making the rounds online.

The title is always irresistible.

“Former IRS Employee Reveals the Truth.”

“The Income Tax Is Voluntary.”

“Everything You’ve Been Told About Taxes Is a Lie.”

“The Government Doesn’t Want You to Know This.”

Millions of people click because they want it to be true.

[Read more…] about The Truth About Those “You Don’t Have to Pay Taxes” Videos

Confessions of a Professional Cuddler

I’ve learned something over the last couple of years that I don’t think most people realize until they experience it firsthand: touch isn’t a luxury. It isn’t just romance or sex or something reserved for the people fortunate enough to have partners. Safe, caring human touch is one of the quiet things that keeps us emotionally alive, and when it’s missing long enough, something inside you begins to harden.

That’s really what I do for a living.

[Read more…] about Confessions of a Professional Cuddler

“Caught my wife texting another man”

My wife and I have been together for nine years. Today I went to hug her from behind and noticed she was texting someone. I watched for a few seconds and saw the name was “Kal,” someone she said was from work.

I asked who Kal was. She immediately jumped and said it was a female coworker who had bought her shampoo, even showing me the shampoo as proof. But the name sounded like a man’s name, so I asked if Kal was a woman. She insisted yes.

[Read more…] about “Caught my wife texting another man”