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The Daily Man-Up

May 26, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

In our society we’re blending the genders.

We’re trying to make equity (where everything is the same) where what most of us would like is equality of opportunity, or even better, merit.

Here’s the reality:

Most women are feminine.

Most men are masculine.

An even greater reality is that most men want to be more masculine, they’ve just never been taught or told how to be.

And if they have been shown how to be a man, it may have been by a web site pushing pick up lines or men’s fashion – ie. tricks and aesthetics, which is almost the exact opposite of what true masculinity is.

In other corners of society (and the internet) men are told to be ashamed of their masculine traits, as if they should be sorry for their strength or aggression or assertive attitude.

Neither are good for men and neither are good for society.

We need masculine, strong, assertive, warriors leading our households and our communities, and this guiding away from said virtues begins in grade school where our way of educating is feminine, it’s tailored to the wonderful girls we’re raising, but not the boys.

I remember being in school. Half the time I was looking outside. Sometimes I’d even get up and go outside in the middle of class just to get out of the sedated atmosphere of the classroom.

As a result, we have generations of young men and boys who’ve been either told that the masculine is wrong, that their natural inquisitions aren’t right, or that they should aspire to be something, to live a form of masculine that’s just weak, pussified, vain and even evil.

We have young men that think being with a woman is purely about sex. Of course it’s a big part of it, but the masculine and the feminine in a relationship is a part of why we’re here. It’s the yin and the yang, the lock and key.

To make it work as well as it should, we need to be men.

Check out the rest of the article at Average2Alpha

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The Daily Man-Up

May 25, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

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The Daily Man-Up

May 24, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

All of us have goals.

There’s something we want to do, someplace we want to go, someone we want to be. It appears that we don’t intentionally plan to be stagnant.

But are you progressing towards your intended destination? Or are you drifting away unknowingly?

Most of us are terrible at assessing our current progress. That’s okay, because in reality not everything is measurable. Objective metrics are difficult to come across for every situation, and often inconvenient.

The problem is that we consciously choose not to take action despite being fully in control of our situation. We take the path of least resistance because we’re programmed that way. We avoid pain and maximise pleasure, to our detriment.

Fog Of War

One of the reasons why we don’t do what’s best for us is because we don’t immediately feel the consequences of our actions. It’s a common occurrence: pleasure in the present becomes pain in the future.

Consider how most people gain weight. Ice cream in the present seems fine because you’re not overweight. It makes sense then, that you have allowance for the occasional treat. But over time, this additional treat becomes a caloric surplus that leads to weight gain.

That’s why fitness experts recommend calorie tracking when the aim is to lose or maintain weight. But life doesn’t work like that. It’s not possible to always measure the impacts of your actions. Once you’ve set into motion a series of events, it becomes impossible to immediately stop the effects from coming into play. You can mitigate it and prevent that from happening in the future, but you can’t retract what you’ve done.

We judge ourselves and base our actions based on the present, but we should really be looking at the future. At any time, our life is on a trajectory that is trending either upwards or downwards — you are the one who decides where that goes.

Check out the rest of the article at The Mission

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The Daily Man-Up

May 23, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

“Success” isn’t just having lots of money. Many people with lots of money have horribly unhappy and radically imbalanced lives.

Success is continuously improving who you are, how you live, how you serve, and how you relate.

So why won’t most people be successful?

Why don’t most people evolve?

The more evolved you become, the more focused you must be on those few things which matter most. Yet, as Jim Rohn has said, “A lot of people don’t do well simply because they major in minor things.”

To be successful, you can’t continue being with low frequency people for long periods of time.

You can’t continue eating crappy food, regardless of your spouse’s or colleague’s food choices.

Your days must consistency be spent on high quality activities.

The more successful you become — which is balancing the few essential things (spiritual, relational, financial, physical) in your life and removing everything else — the less you can justify low quality.

Before you evolve, you can reasonably spend time with just about anyone.

You can reasonably eat anything placed in front of you.

You can reasonably justify activities and behaviors that are, frankly, mediocre.

As your vision for yourself expands, you realize you have to make certain adjustments. You need to cut-back on spending all of your money and time on crap and entertainment. You have to save more, and invest more in your education and your future.

The more successful you become, the less you can justify low quality. The more focused you must become. The more consistently your daily behaviors must be high quality — and increasingly higher quality.

This isn’t about perfection. It’s definitely not about being busy all the time. Actually, the balance of true success involves what Tim Ferriss calls “mini-retirements” or regular sabbaticals.

Yet, if your daily behaviors are consistently low quality, what do you expect your life’s output to be?

Your choices must become higher quality.

Your relationships must become higher quality.

Every area of your life affects every other area of your life. Hence the saying, How you do anything is how you do everything. This is very high level thinking. It only makes sense for people who have removed everything from their lives they hate. To actually live this principle: your daily and normal life can only be filled with those things you highly value.

Check out the rest of the article at Thrive

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The Daily Man-Up

May 22, 2017 | 2 Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. We’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-tow minutes. Just under eight minutes a mile [Note: when running on his own in 1968, Lee would get his time down to six-and-a-half minutes per mile].

So this morning he said to me “We’re going to go five.”

I said, “Bruce, I can’t go five. I’m a helluva lot older than you are, and I can’t do five.”

He said, “When we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.”

I said “Okay, hell, I’ll go for it.”

So we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and I’m okay for three or four minutes, and then I really begin to give out.

I’m tired, my heart’s pounding, I can’t go any more and so I say to him, “Bruce if I run any more,” — and we’re still running — “if I run any more I’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” He said, “Then die.” It made me so mad that I went the full five miles.

Afterward I went to the shower and then I wanted to talk to him about it. I said, you know, “Why did you say that?” He said, “Because you might as well be dead. Seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. It’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level.”


The Daily Man-Up

May 19, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

Fighting isn’t macho. It’s not how a man proves himself to another man or how he proves himself to a lady. Fighting has nothing to do with anything but the individual and his desire to prove to himself that he can face his fears, that he can take the pain of getting hit and hit back.

Fighting, just as it is in the metaphorical sense as we fight and claw our way to a better position in life, is completely internal. Every guy wants to know how he’d fair in a fight, and I feel bad for those who don’t know; not because they’re better men if they’re fighters, fighting, after-all, is merely a skill like skating or shooting, actually it’s more than that. Fighting is how we prove to ourselves that we’re men. It’s how we prove to ourselves that we’re not pussies, that even though we’re afraid we’ll stand and fight.

Fighting can be, and often is, a good thing, as well as a bad thing. Like most things there’s a double edge to it. It’s great when there’s both a reason to fight and when it’s purely for sport. The sport of fighting in any form is sport at its purest form. After-all, sport and athletic competition began as a means to train for war. Every “sport” was a skill that could be used in battle, be it running or swimming, throwing the javelin or discuss, and of course punching another human in the face or wrestling them to the ground. Competition has changed from being about war but we still war in the squared circle and in the octagon, and that’s where true competition between men resides. It’s bad when the reasoning for the fight is idiotic and unnecessary, which is typically the case when booze or broads are involved.

We’re not going to get into the various different reasons for fighting, going over which are good and which are bad, you can decide that for yourself, and you likely have a pretty good internal compass to determine a good reason for fighting and a stupid one. The only question I want to ask is how much do you really know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?

Check out the rest of the article here

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The Daily Man-Up

May 18, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

People give more thought to choosing their next Amazon purchase than to choosing their next relationship.

When it comes to romance, everyone is in such a hurry. You jump into a relationship with the first person who shows you interest. You commit to being exclusive before you’ve even gotten a chance to really know each other.

I think that’s insane! You’re playing Russian roulette and hoping that this person is going to be a good match for you.

I know you’re eager to find love, but being in an unhappy relationship is much worse than being alone. Especially if you’re trying to find someone you plan to be with forever, you shouldn’t just settle for anyone. Choosing the wrong person will affect your entire life.

The right partner can help you grow to the best version of yourself. The wrong partner can bring out the worst in you.

The right partner can support you. The wrong partner can use you and leave you more isolated than when you were single.

The right partner can make every experience more beautiful and satisfying than you could imagine. The wrong partner can strip out any shred of happiness from any moment.

So if the difference between a right partner and a wrong one is so obvious, why do we still find ourselves stuck in unfulfilling relationships?

The unhealthy, unrealistic pressure to settle 

Much of society places unfair expectations on others to settle into a relationship. People make sweeping judgements that you’re an asshole player or a heartless bitch if you don’t stay with someone who likes you.

They’re speaking out of insecurity. They somehow believe dating around cheapens romantic connections or true love. But I’d argue the opposite. I’d argue that settling is a major factor in why the porce rate is roughly 48-53% and 41% of marriages experience some form of infidelity.

We are inpiduals with our own values, needs, and expectations. Just because you like someone, doesn’t mean you’re compatible with them.

Being romantically selective doesn’t make you a jerk — it’s the only way you discover what you truly care about and need in a partner. It’s how you learn to be a better partner. And it’s how you create healthy, lasting relationships.

As I’ve written before, you are the only person who knows how to fulfill yourself. So those who might judge you don’t understand that settling hurts everyone in the long run. 

Though it doesn’t always happen right away, settling causes resentment, unhappiness, and regret. Delaying the break-up by months or even years will only result in more pain and suffering – and you’ll wish you didn’t settle in the first place.

Check out the rest of the article at Nick Notas

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The Daily Man-Up

May 17, 2017 | No Comments » | Topics: Man-Up |

One day, when my brother was 18, he waltzed into the living room and proudly announced to my mother and me that one day he was going to be a senator. My mom probably gave him the “That’s nice, dear,” treatment while I’m sure I was distracted by a bowl of Cheerios or something.

But for fifteen years, this purpose informed all of my brother’s life decisions: what he studied in school, where he chose to live, who he connected with and even what he did with many of his vacations and weekends.

And now, after almost half a lifetime of work later, he’s the chairman of a major political party in his city and the youngest judge in the state. In the next few years, he hopes to run for office for the first time.

Don’t get me wrong. My brother is a freak. This basically never happens.

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 25, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. And even after I had a business, it wasn’t until I was 28 that I clearly defined what I wanted for my life.

Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?” I often receive emails from people in their 40s and 50s who still have no clue what they want to do with themselves.

Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. This is the same kind of shitty logic used to justify things like spirit crystals or that your lucky number is 34 (but only on Tuesdays or during full moons).

Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

So when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

Check out the rest of the article at Mark Manson

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