Life Advice

So, you want to live a life guided by your values. You want to make choices that feel authentic and meaningful, and create a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That’s great! But there’s just one problem: you have no idea what your values actually are.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone. In a world that’s constantly bombarding us with messages about who we should be and what we should want, it’s easy to lose touch with our own inner compass. We get so caught up in trying to meet external expectations and fit in with the crowd, that we forget to check in with ourselves and ask, “What really matters to me?”

[Read more…] about How to Discover Your Core Values

Mediocrity is like that one bad habit you just can’t seem to shake. Maybe it’s hitting the snooze button one too many times, or consistently choosing the couch over the gym. At first, it seems harmless enough. What’s the big deal, right?

But here’s the thing about mediocrity: it’s sneaky. It has a way of seeping into every aspect of your life when you’re not paying attention. One small compromise leads to another, and before you know it, you’re drowning in a sea of “just good enough.”

[Read more…] about The Insidious Nature of Mediocrity

I’ve been a side chick for over 5 years.

I didn’t know he had another girlfriend until about 2.5 years into the relationship. Keep in mind, by this time I was already so deep in love with this man and thought I’d marry him. Lost my v-card to him and everything. We met when I was young and he was a bit older and the effect he had on me was insane. To cut a long story short, I was so in love with him already that I couldn’t bear the thought of being without him. So I stayed. Fuck me, I know.

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Let me guess. You want me to give you some magic formula for charming the pants off of everyone you meet. You want a step-by-step guide for wooing strangers with your wit and leaving a trail of enamored new friends wherever you go.

Well, I hate to break it to you, but that’s not how it works. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to engaging with new people. Because spoiler alert: People are complex, unpredictable, and often pretty dang weird.

However, there is one method that I’ve found to be consistently effective. And it’s so mind-numbingly simple that you’ll probably want to punch me for even saying it. But here it goes:

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I have never been in a relationship nor been physically intimate with anyone in my entire life.

I live in a very large city outside the US, but work as senior engineer for a reputable US-based multinational technology firm. I go outside every month. I go to a regular video games meetup and a regular community trash cleanup event, trying to talk to everyone and catch up with their lives and asking if they want to get dinner afterwards. I exercise after-work daily. I am attentive to hygeine and skincare, get my hair cut on a regular schedule, wear contacts lenses, wear clean clothes. I have created profiles on multiple dating apps, but at a fit 5’9” 140 lbs, I have never once received a like.

[Read more…] about “I’m 35 and scared I will never get married and have kids”

When we feel a strong sense of dislike, annoyance, or even hatred towards someone else, it’s often because they embody a trait or behavior that we struggle with ourselves. This could be something we’re aware of and actively trying to change, or it could be a blind spot – a part of ourselves we haven’t fully acknowledged or confronted.

For example, let’s say you have a coworker who always seems to be seeking attention and praise. You find yourself getting irritated every time they speak up in meetings or boast about their accomplishments. But if you dig a little deeper, you might realize that you, too, crave recognition and validation – you just express it differently, or even suppress it.

[Read more…] about We Hate in Others What We Can’t Fix in Ourselves

My son is 22. He graduated high school with stellar SAT scores and was at the top of his school. After high school, he didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do with his life, so we let him have a gap year where he could live at our house rent-free so he could decide what he wanted to do with his life. What he decided to do was be a gamer person on Youtube with his own channel. I’m fine if that’s what he wants to do with his life. However, I know that it is a very unsteady job, and I would at least like him to get an education or a “real” job.

[Read more…] about “My wife is enabling my 22 year old adult son who still lives at home”

I want to talk about a phrase that gets thrown around a lot – “putting yourself out there.” It’s something we often hear when it comes to dating, socializing, or pursuing our goals. But what does it really mean?

Putting yourself out there means being vulnerable. It’s about exposing yourself to the possibility of rejection, failure, or disappointment. When you put yourself out there, you’re taking a risk. You’re saying, “Here I am, flaws and all. Take it or leave it.”

[Read more…] about What Does It Mean To Put Yourself Out There?