Shes 60, single. I know how screwed she is, told her countless times, but she did it anyway. I don’t know how she’s going to survive on $1k social security a month and only $60k saved. No assets. No plan. Currently rents, which I help pay for.
Advice Column
“My wife controls everything I do”
I’ve been married to my wife (32F) for five years, and lately, I (33M) feel like I’ve lost any sense of freedom or privacy. It’s as though every day, she’s looking for something to be upset about, and I’m always walking on eggshells.
Take our finances, for example. While we share our money, we also have our own separate accounts. Yet, she logs into my account and questions every single purchase I make, even though we’re not struggling financially at all. I can’t bring myself to ask her about her spending habits because I’m afraid it will lead to a blow-up.
“My friend cheated on her husband and don’t know how to move forward with the friendship.”
I (31F) have been friends with Sarah (31F) for over 20 years. We’ve been through a lot together—school, heartbreaks, careers, growing pains. She’s seen me at my worst, and I’ve seen her at hers. Neither of us has been perfect over the years, but recently… something shifted.
Sarah cheated on her husband.
They’ve since split, and the fallout has been painful to watch—especially because her ex, Alex, is someone our whole friend group loves and respects. He didn’t deserve what happened, and I can’t make sense of why she did it. She hasn’t reached out, and I haven’t either. I don’t even know what I’d say.
“How do I become successful in life?”
I’m 20 years old, and I want to be successful in life. I don’t just mean money (although that’s part of it). I mean I want to feel proud of where I am, be good at what I do, and not feel lost or behind all the time.
The problem is, I have no idea where to start. I scroll through Instagram and see people my age starting businesses, traveling the world, becoming “influencers,” or already in their dream careers. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to figure out what I’m even good at.
Sometimes I feel motivated, and I try to make a plan, but then I get overwhelmed. Other times, I just shut down and waste hours on my phone. I don’t want to drift through my 20s and wake up one day feeling like I missed my chance.
“I like him but get second hand embarrassment”
I’ve been dating a 34-year-old man for six months. One-on-one, we really click — we share similar values, traditions, and long-term goals. But I’m hesitant to introduce him to my family and friends because, in group settings, his behavior often comes off as cringey and immature.
He constantly brags about money, especially when comparing himself to people who went to university — I have a master’s degree, and he didn’t attend college. He’ll go on about how much wealthier he is than his family and how jealous they supposedly are, even though they seem like kind, normal people. I’ve gently tried encouraging more humility, but it hasn’t landed.
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“My wife met up with another man”
My wife’s been distant lately. We’ve had problems before, but this feels different. I tried to connect with her recently—nothing. I suggested we spend the day together, but she said she wanted to go to the library and work on her book.
Then she got dressed up—full makeup, perfume—and her phone lit up with a message from a guy I didn’t recognize:
“I’ll be waiting for you in bed. Bring me a coffee, please.”
“Thinking about the bad things I’ve done in the past keeps me up at night”
Sometimes, out of nowhere, I’ll remember something awful I did years ago. It hits me like a punch in the chest. No matter how much time has passed, the guilt feels fresh. It’s not every day, but when it happens, it’s hard to breathe. Sometimes it even keeps me up at night.
I’ve tried forgiving myself. I’ve tried distraction. I’ve tried reminding myself that I’ve changed. But the memories still come back, and when they do, I feel like the worst version of myself.
How do you move on when your own mind won’t let you forget?
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“My brother is ruining his life”
My younger brother (22) and his wife bought a house a few years ago for way too much money—at least according to me and my parents. They never even calculated their bills before locking themselves into a $2,000 mortgage. His attitude was always, “It’ll be fine.”
Right after that, they financed two $20k trucks, plus full coverage insurance. The problem? His job is seasonal, and he doesn’t pick up work in the winter. Eventually, they were about to lose the house and ended up begging our grandparents for $7,000. The deal was weekly repayments, but in six months they’ve only made one payment of $200.
Now he just told me he bought a camper—for $2,000—at the end of summer, while still owing my grandparents and facing another winter without steady work. On top of that, they’re trying to have a baby with fertility treatments.
“Why do people act like they do at Costco?”
Every time I go, it feels like the normal rules of human behavior are suspended. People cut in line, block entire aisles with their oversized carts, swarm the free sample tables like it’s their last meal, and somehow forget how to use basic turn-taking skills. I’ve had strangers reach over me to grab things off the shelf, families park their carts sideways to chat in the busiest spot of the store, and one time a guy nearly rammed me because he was racing toward a pallet of discounted toilet paper.
What is it about Costco that turns otherwise normal adults into reckless, rude, every-person-for-themselves shoppers? Is it the bulk quantities? The “limited-time-only” vibe? Or do people just abandon manners when they think they’re saving a buck?
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“My son stole something”
My son (19m) bragged to another family member about stealing a pair of expensive boots. He said he took of his old ones, put them on the shelf and walked out with the new ones on his feet.
Worst part is my son called to tell me how exited he was that someone “gave him” a nice pair of boots, and told me a whole story about it. I was asked not to say I was told by the family member who told me. I know I cant do much, but am just looking for some advice or even just your thoughts. I feel so disappointed.