Category

Category: Advice Column

Advice Column

“How can I catch up on investing for retirement?

I’m 45, and I feel like I’ve screwed up my financial life. I make decent money (about $80k a year), but between raising kids and just not paying attention, I barely have $40,000 saved for retirement. Every time I see something about how much people my age should have, I feel sick to my stomach.

I want to catch up, but saving a few hundred bucks a month feels hopeless at this point. I keep reading about people making a killing in crypto or day trading, and honestly, it sounds tempting. I know it’s risky, but the idea of doubling or tripling my money fast is way more appealing than grinding away for the next 20 years and still coming up short.

Am I crazy for even thinking about this?

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Advice Column

“My girlfriend let a guy that likes her sleep in her bed.”

My girlfriend recently started her Master’s and has been hanging out with a group of friends from college, including some guys. I never thought much of it, but last weekend, I asked if any of the guys had hit on her. She initially brushed it off, but then admitted that one of them asked if she had a boyfriend. She told him yes, and he said it was too bad because he and others had been wondering if she was single. She didn’t tell me right away because she didn’t want me to get paranoid.

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Advice Column

“My dad cheated on my mom again and I don’t know what to do”

I love my dad, and I don’t want to lose him. But this is the second time he’s done this. The first time already left a scar in my mind. Honestly, I’m not even surprised anymore, but I really trusted him. I thought he felt at least a little bit of remorse when he realized we knew.

Right now, I’m crying so hard I barely have the energy to type. I don’t want my family to fall apart. He has two teenage daughters—how could he do this? I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. My mom and sister just found out today.

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Advice Column

“Why should I be a good person?”

Context: I’d say I’m a pretty nice person, try to be empathetic to everybody even “mean” people, I keep a policy of putting myself in other peoples positions, etc.

Recently though, I’ve been thinking about giving up on this, feel like people who are assholes do so well from being assholes, and I don’t remember what was the reason which made me choose this empathetic path in the first place, it could be because I’m drunk right now.

Anyway I’m hoping someone can shed some light on the issue, and help me remember why it’s worth being a good and empathetic person, instead of being egotistical and self minded.

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Advice Column

“I’m married, but fantasize about other women”

I’ve been married for almost six years to a woman I truly love and respect. We have a good relationship—solid friendship, intimacy, shared goals. But lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming or fantasizing about other women.

Sometimes it’s someone I know, sometimes just random strangers or old flings. The thoughts aren’t obsessive or constant, but when they show up, I feel guilty. Like I’m betraying her, even if it’s just in my head.

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Advice Column

“Seventeen years, no ring”

My ex and I were together since we were 15. Seventeen years. He was my first relationship, my first everything. Honestly, he’s all I’ve ever known.

He always knew I wanted to get married—we talked about it from the very beginning. But after all these years, he never proposed. Eventually, I stopped bringing it up and tried to focus on myself. Last year, I finally told him I couldn’t keep living like this, that marriage mattered to me. He said it was “just a piece of paper.” But to me, it wasn’t.

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Advice Column

“I think I hate my daughter”

My daughter is 16. She’s sharp, well-liked, and walks into a room like she owns it. And sometimes, I feel this ugly resentment toward her.

Not because she’s done anything unforgivable—she hasn’t. But every little thing she does reminds me of her mother.

Her mom left when our daughter was little. She lied to me for years, made promises she never kept, and when she finally walked out, she barely looked back. She moved across the country with someone new, leaving our daughter behind with me, but still managing to control the narrative—making herself the victim to anyone who would listen.

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Advice Column

“My girlfriend takes days and on rare occasions weeks to reply to my texts”

I’ve (22m) been dating this girl (24f) for about two months, and things are great when we’re together in person—we get along well and complement each other. But when it comes to texting, it’s pretty rough.

She’s told me she’s not great at texting, and I appreciate her honesty, but it still kind of stings not hearing from her for long stretches. I’m the type who loves those good morning/good night texts and sharing little updates throughout the day, but with her, sometimes it’s a week or more before I get a reply.

Occasionally she’ll text back once a day, but usually it’s just to confirm plans. I know she’s busy, and I feel guilty even wanting to bring it up, but I’ve been feeling pretty lonely because of it.

How do I talk to her about this without coming off as needy?

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Advice Column

“My parents wont let me be independent”

I’m (24F) having trouble with my parents and cant do anything on my own. They dont want me to move out because rent is expensive and a money sink when we have our own house but she controls everything I do.

I have a long distance boyfriend (28M) of 2 years and we plan on tying the knot in the near future. He’s visiting me next month but my parents dont know about him so I told my parents I wanted to do a “staycation” to unwind.

They said yes but they said they will visit me everyday and use the amenities there. I dont know what to do since they wont leave me alone. I help pay the bills, I have a job, and a degree. I pay for all of my things and treat them out occasionally so what am I missing?

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